Expert Communicator Pillows

"Social work is all about clear communications...It relies upon the complex interweaving of language, gesture and expression to ensure that you get your message across."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Dialogue

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Changing Minds

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

Direct Marketing...

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Ruddy bloggers!

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

Torturing the English Language

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"