Communication Pro Pillows

"I'm not doing this if you're just coming keep disagreeing with me."

'When I pick my nose, it means I'm going to object.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Trial by Media

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"National security adviser"

Inclusive speech

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

This Message Has No Content

Create some buzz!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

Gay Times...

Couples' therapy

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Changing Minds

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."