Product Critique Pillows

Factory Recall Unicorn.

Polluted geese

Roads with a view.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Bad Office Planning

The economy doctor

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

Too much packaging

Muscle Steroids.

Suggestions Box

If they didn't show commercials, people would not know what to buy.

'Our new app sells for $100 and detects intelligence. If a customer buys one, they don't have any.'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

Supermarket Special Offer! Two for the price of three!

"And if you sign up for our Gold Star membership level we stop pestering you to sign up."

"...Now will you believe me! It's too...big!"

"Thank YOU Amazon!"

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

"It's something from the gas company. Don't they know it takes more than bold red font, to move me to respond. I need to be wooed, fawned over. After all, I'm more than a checkbook."

"These kitchen shears are great for cutting plastic packaging. . . like the packaging they come in."

"It appears the ark was designed with no bathroom."

Bad Reads

Man can't open the plastic packaging of his plastic cutter.

Lesser-Known Features of the Apollo 13 Command Module

'I'd like a newspaper with no car, house or mobile phone adverts in it.'

Face Cream with Highly Moronic Acid

"He forgot to record his show, so he had to watch it live. 693 commercials in one hour was too much for him to handle."