Procurement Specialist Pillows

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team,,,'

'Hunting and Gathering will now be downsized and consolidated into General Procurement.'

e-procurement

'Our largest contract is in a mess, the suppliers are failing to deliver, and we have no idea what we are doing. The procurement team sent us their best guy to help sort it out...'

'Well, it's inventory time again -- You do the rocks and I'll do the sticks.'

e-procurement

"We are thinking about what we need. Concentrate on our thoughts and prepare all the procurement documentation..."

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the Cheapest Tender."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

Procurement

Supply chain issues result in unfinished cartoon.

"Stupid bean counter!"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

Supply Chain

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Cargo Bay at Thames Warehouse

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

How Many It Takes

Cheap Labour Countries.

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."