Acquisitions Specialist Pillows

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Fish and color

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'You may have three mergers.'

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"