Processed Meat Sceptic Gifts

New Instant Bacon - Just extract water

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'Your drug tests show no signs of illegal substances, but they do show a huge amount of artificial colorings and preservatives.'

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

Angry Bulls about to try out their version of Butchering on an unsuspecting Butcher

"Apparently we're reared by people who share the values of the people who eat us."

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'

'Tell us that really scary story again...the one about how they make chicken nuggets!'

A vegetarian cursing a cow.

"Have you considered the option of being chopped up into small pieces and chargrilled in a mid range restaurant?"

'This morning I became a vegetarian. . .'

'That genetically modified foods thing is getting out of hand.'

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

Burger Bistro: Ethics of Eating Meat

Gross pig size!

'Caution: this tomato soup combines with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas.'

Convenience food: '...these days you can get your vegetables this way.'

"He works in our processed foods division."

"After this long list of additives it lists the expiration date. Does that pertain to the product of the person who eats it?"

'To her, the four basic food groups are: canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"Well, there are organs in it, so, yeah, I guess you could say it's 'organic'!"

"Ah...the sweet smell of brominated vegetable oil...it takes me right back to my school days!"

The unsuspecting.

"It says these chicken nuggets are from parts unknown."

"According to the doctor, I'm apparently allergic to artificial coloring and flavoring!"