Processed Food Fanatic T-Shirts

"According to the doctor, I'm apparently allergic to artificial coloring and flavoring!"

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

The Nihilist Deli.

'Your drug tests show no signs of illegal substances, but they do show a huge amount of artificial colorings and preservatives.'

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Motor-blender.

Waiting staff

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

'My wife's idea of the four basic food groups is canned, frozen, freeze-dried and carry-out.'

All You Can Eat

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

"Listen Matt, me and the boys think you might be overdoing this Paleo diet thing!"

'Keep arguing about eating you spinach and Mummy won't be able to guarantee your health and safety.'

'Ryker's Natural Foods - Kelp wanted'

"I eat guys like you for breakfast! Well, I USED to, until I realized how pathetically low you are in omega-3 fatty acids!"

"The people next door eat a lot better."

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'Don't you have American processed cheese food in a can?'

"Your diet's fine, but maybe cut back on the seeds."

"Sure it costs more. We have to squash bugs by hand."

"The cod's off, but you can have whale and chips."

"Forget it. Too many preservatives."

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

"Once koalas taste shark, they never go back to eucalyptus."

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

'Tell us that really scary story again...the one about how they make chicken nuggets!'

Vegetarian Spider

"Actually, I'm not hungry anymore. While I was waiting for my scone, I had one of your delicious sconces instead!"

No way am I taking a spinach and broccoli pill.

"Just look at that. The face that lunched on a thousand chips."

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'