Prize Draw Skeptic Gifts

"I finally realised I was a failure when I received a letter from Readers Digest saying I hadn't been selected for their prize draw."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'Oh no its going to be one of those days.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

Zinzhoff wins Nobel Prize/Creates life in test tube/Or was it in there when he started?

'Well, sweetie, you got a prize, Why it's a cholesterol decoder ring!'

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

Handing over money.

"...did your last employer give you a reference?"

Welcome to Let's Make a Deal, where contestants compete for fabulous prizes. Carl Lernetz, from Brooklyn, let's look at what you'll be competing for today. Behind door #1 a gorgeous dining room set! Clap clap clap

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

"I didn't exactly win it."

"It's simple, really. You're a team member when you want something. You're an employee when I want something."

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

"You may already be a Nobel Prize winner!"

"I want you to promise you'll take some of your Nobel Prize money and buy yourself something nice."

Instant winner trash can

'They're not just going to GIVE you a Nobel Peace Prize -- you have to FIGHT for it!'

'Congratulations! You have just won an Escape Weekend at one of our Finest Hotels!'

'Seventy three percent of statistics are made up on the spot.'

"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"

"It's expensive and difficult, but at least if you win, you get to take home a huge piece of garbage."

'Remember to register for the door prize.'

"I think your personal psychic is a waste of money. She promised us a boatload of fish, and I haven't had a nibble all day."

'There's no such thing as a winning lottery ticket, it's all a hoax.'

Ticket prizes...

'Most exotic fleas'

Angling Competition

'Frank and I won a Clydesdale horse farm.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'