Prize Admirers Gifts

'They're not just going to GIVE you a Nobel Peace Prize -- you have to FIGHT for it!'

Seamus Heaney

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

The caricature of Dorian Gray

'I hope this surprise view is worth the climb!'

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

He was forced to take early retirement.

'It's my latest invention. I call it 'Picture in a picture.'

Seminars for Sycophants

"This new guy's really good!"

"Has anybody seen my old friend Nelson?"

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

J. M. Coetzee

Man using 'Big N-Sexy Hair Gel'.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

'Charlene had never thought of herself as beautiful, but..well...mirrors don't lie.'

Third place sabotaging first place on medal stand.

Captain Tom Moore

'I hear he won the Pulitzer for mathematics. Or was it the Emmy?'

William Golding

James Chadwick

"Tiger takes home a record prize money payout at the Masters. Buxom blondes across the globe rejoice."

Angling Competition

"It amazes me how much I've achieved in such a short time."

Woodrow Wilson

'Hop, skip & lump championships.'

'I know I'll pay for it in the end, but, seriously, how could I resist a rack like that?'

"They're all for staying out of trouble."

Approval Heaven

'World's HEAVIEST Man'

Finding someone parked in her spot at the studio, Operah Winfrey will once again give a person in the audience a free car.

Seven hours later, Gunther decided he'd just keep his Nobel Prize in the garage.