Private Eye Fanatic T-Shirts

"You can stop humming 'Private Eyes' by Hall & Oates now!"

"Bond James, Bond."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

She required plenty of personal space.

JAMES BONDING

'Vital mission - movie parody'

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

Elusive Shadow.

The EP-21 spy plane.

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

"I said on the phone '2 percent.' I’m sure the NSA would back me up."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

Optician and the PI.

Obama's surveillance of America.

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

A Failiure to Communicate

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"I'd like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn."

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

"We need to be careful."