Prison Worker Pillows

'Turns out I'm being released on DVD.'

"I look at his recent work and I see a maturity that just wasn't there in his teen-age break-ins."

New Hampshire State Prison officials were concerned that producing 100,000 license plates with the motto 'live free or die!' was severely affecting prisoners' morale.

Martha Stew-Art.

'With the benefit of hindsight I guess we shouldn't have asked the Governor to declare our tunnel open.'

I'm afraid I can't have the car outside the north wall on Thursday. That's my club night.

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

"Hey, what's the chance we can get some cable TV in here?"

"Do you like your job at the prison library?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Madoff and devil.

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Freedom Book.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'