Prison Reformers Gifts

Skeptic Tank.

'I'm done doing inside jobs on the outside. I make more on the inside as an outsider artist.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

Blind Justice with Missiles instead of Scales.

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

Trump's Justice

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

Prisoner speech

'Credit Crunch - wassat then?'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

Human Rights

"I can't say I'm wild about these open prisons."

'Ask the judge if we can put more than two inmates serving life plus 99 years into one cell!'

Jeremy Bentham

"The funds weren't a mutual as I thought."

"My thinking was a little too far outside the box."

"When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking"

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

"While I don't have a formal background in finance, I did corner the cigarette market while I was doing time."

Solitary refinement.