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"Sorry, but the final T bone steak, French fries, eggs and ice cream are off the menu."

'Being in here has finally cured my wanderlust.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"Great, now we're lost."

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

In The Bastille

"You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading."

"Okay, people! Let's get our Taylor Swift on!"

'Credit crunch? Wassat then?'

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."

'It's for you.'

"He refuses to obey direct orders!"

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Santa visits prison.

Trimming

'Surprise, surprise, Wally the mole...'

"Come on, Charlie, let me in on when you guys are making the break!"

"I'm lost!"

'Whoa...D?j? vu.'

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."

After a fruitless 18 years search over five continents, Joe Golez finally finds himself in the Gents of a flee-bitten bar in downtown San Antone.

'I'm sure there's a lesson here somewhere, but I don't know what it is. Oh well...let's go up to that cool light.'

'My wife says I take all the romance out of our conjugal visits.'

'Let it go, man. I really don't think your ex expects you to break out to attend her wedding. I think she's moved on.'

'I'm sorry, but I make it a rule not to date anyone I work with.'

'Here at Alma State Prison, we don't tell the inmates to have a nice day.'

"I didn't follow the arrows at the grocery store!"

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

'Thank you for accepting me the way I am.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

Book on Time Management in prison.

A prison inmate is typing prison tally marks in his laptop computer.

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'