Prison Governor Pillows

'Don't talk to me about prison over-crowding...I'm the governor!'

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

'With the benefit of hindsight I guess we shouldn't have asked the Governor to declare our tunnel open.'

Prison Governor - Trays read: In/Not if I have my way.

"I don't think we should assign Dr shipman to the prison hospital quite yet."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Skeptic Tank.

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Jerry Brown.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Madoff and devil.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

Freedom Book.

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'