Prison Officials Pillows

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Skeptic Tank.

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Madoff and devil.

'Are you free at the moment?'

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

Freedom Book.

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

Police Lineup Escape

'Newgate - Exercise Yard'

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

Prisoner Crossing

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"