Prison Culture Fan Pillows

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

Preferred Prisons

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'It's windy this morning.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Hey. You're back.'

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

Prison decorating

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'So, how was your day?'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."