Prison Cook Gifts

"Actually, this tastes exactly like home cooking to me...ma's one of the prison cooks here!"

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prisoner still life painting.

'Chili again?'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Sweet Jailbreak

Prison Wallpaper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

Robinson le Creusot

'My compliments to the chef - I'm gonna be sick and won't have to pull latrine duty today.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Scout Skits - soup or wash water?

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

The prison-food was so bad, the inmates decided to smuggle in a cordon bleu chef!

Martha bakes with her new friends.

Martha Stew-Art.

"I wouldn't complain about the food too much if I were you. I'm the Birdman of Alcatraz, all I get is millet and if I'm really lucky a few berries!"

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"What do you mean, 'you don't serve porridge?!"