Prison Cook Gifts

"Actually, this tastes exactly like home cooking to me...ma's one of the prison cooks here!"

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prisoner still life painting.

'Chili again?'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Prison Wallpaper.

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

Robinson le Creusot

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'My compliments to the chef - I'm gonna be sick and won't have to pull latrine duty today.'

Scout Skits - soup or wash water?

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

The prison-food was so bad, the inmates decided to smuggle in a cordon bleu chef!

Martha bakes with her new friends.

"I wouldn't complain about the food too much if I were you. I'm the Birdman of Alcatraz, all I get is millet and if I'm really lucky a few berries!"

Martha Stew-Art.

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

"What do you mean, 'you don't serve porridge?!"