Priority Pundit Gifts

A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Hate Platforms

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Where does it all end up?

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

Obama Healthcare.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'It's cheaper than gas.'