Primordial Soup Taster Gifts

Ooze: A Primordial Bar and Grill

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Please Wait and wait and wait.

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

Octopi a la mode.

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'Hey! We can play Scrabble while we eat!'

'Waiter! This broth tastes spoiled!'

Quark soup

"Have you a cabernet that will pair well with dysfunction?"

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"I'm always tempted by the more esoteric flavors- if only out of pity."

Neanderthal Golf.

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

'The first thing I do every morning is arrange all my thoughts in alphabetical order.'

Devils and Angels

"I knew I didn't need the Death by Chocolate."

Evil Personified $1.00

"How will drinking more wine make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup every day and it hasn't made me a better speller."

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

"Do you have large print alphabet soup?"

'Which choo-choo train is appropriate?'

'I'm very studious. I don't just eat my alphabet soup. I also read it.'

TASTES LIKE... Bob's Buffalo Chicken

"I never knew I was dyslexic before I came here."

Dog drinking 'water with a hint of toilet limescale.'