Primordial Soup Taster T-Shirts

Ooze: A Primordial Bar and Grill

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'Waiter! This broth tastes spoiled!'

Quark soup

"Have you a cabernet that will pair well with dysfunction?"

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"I'm always tempted by the more esoteric flavors- if only out of pity."

Neanderthal Golf.

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

'The first thing I do every morning is arrange all my thoughts in alphabetical order.'

Devils and Angels

"I knew I didn't need the Death by Chocolate."

'Which choo-choo train is appropriate?'

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

"Do you have large print alphabet soup?"

'I'm very studious. I don't just eat my alphabet soup. I also read it.'

TASTES LIKE... Bob's Buffalo Chicken

Evil Personified $1.00

"How will drinking more wine make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup every day and it hasn't made me a better speller."

"I never knew I was dyslexic before I came here."

Dog drinking 'water with a hint of toilet limescale.'

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup