Alphabet Soup Connoisseur Gifts

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'I'm very studious. I don't just eat my alphabet soup. I also read it.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Soup of the month.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'A is for Arse.'

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Bottomless bowl of soup

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Child lifting alphabet blocks.

Letterman Show: 'He's always been at my side...the one consonant in my life...'

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,