Alphabet Soup Fan Gifts

'How can drinking more beer make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup daily and it hasn't made me a better speller.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Soup of the month.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

What's the insect de jour?

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

Alphabet Soup: Ingredients - consonants and vowels.

'Exactly what day is this the soup of?'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Jeremy Corbyn in the soup

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'