Alphabet Soup Fan Gifts

'How can drinking more beer make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup daily and it hasn't made me a better speller.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Soup of the month.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

What's the insect de jour?

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Alphabet Soup: Ingredients - consonants and vowels.

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

Is it too late to substitute a bee in my coffee for a fly in my soup?