Primitive Tech Tinkerer Gifts

The first car accident.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Young Frankenstein"

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

Early cyborg.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

The Not-So Smart Meter

Gadget geek.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Bicycle sat nav.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'3-D TV Kit'

Fixing the Computer.

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"