Retro Tech Tinkerer Gifts

Home Alone.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

The first car accident.

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

The original paperless office

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Bicycle sat nav.

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'