Retro Tech Tinkerer T-Shirts

Home Alone.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

The first car accident.

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Early cyborg.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

The original paperless office

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Gadget geek.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'