Primal Shenanigans Gifts

'Oog considers anything under 500 pounds to be snack food.'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Mum, I got the job!"

The Frankenstein snowman.

"Ready...."

Color-Rectal Exams for Baboons...

Monkey Business

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"

The invention of baseball.

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

Man walking and farting.

'Hunting, gathering.... It's so hard to prioritize!'

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

Penile Implants

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

I knew it was a mistake letting you sign up for Amazon Primate. Bananas.

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

'This should really freak out the bird watchers.'

...and the mighty sport of Kung Football was born.

7th Monkey Business Conference: 'Thanks, but I don't need the microphone: I'm a howler monkey...'

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Hot! Hot!'

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

'Isn't it amazing how we can fall asleep standing?'

"For some reason, people drink a lot less since I brought my twin brother into the business."

Boy shouting at and frightening an old lady

'Good report, Al... but was it good enough? What do you think, Binky? Has Al earned a bonus or a face full of monkey crap?'