Pricey Sipper Gifts

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"I forget to drink."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

Running Latte

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

A very fine vintage

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'Boozer's Week.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

Scariest Tactics

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

'I never drink before 6pm. Luckily it's always 6pm somewhere in the world!'

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"It says here that having a glass of wine is good for you."

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Old man with straw in gin.

Wine Prices