Price Flux Follower Pillows

"Let's wait and see where the gas price is going to be higher and then we'll sail there."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

Shares Nosedive

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

The euro as a monster

Bureau of Inflation.

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'What a bargain!'

Short Memories

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

Gas prices up.

'I can lend 100% on the new car, but only 70% on the tank of gas.'

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

Chances of the weather.

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."

"Yes, Madam, I know they were 78 p last week, but have you seen the price of oil?"

"Yes, sir. Your beer is cloudy. But, there's a good chance it'll become clear later."

'Honey, I swear, I wasn't out wallstreeting!'

"Sigh. Remember when Star Wars used to mean something?"

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

"I don't have a set price. I charge what the market will bear."

Rest Rooms: Bulls and Bears

"Is this an upturn or another calm before the storm?"

Customer to broker: 'Before I invest with you, I have to check your credibility ... how many ulcers have you had?'

'Requisition a bigger chart.'

'Charles, I want you to meet Joel. You have lots in common. He also thinks he knows how to time the market.'