Market Trend Follower Pillows

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

"I don't have a set price. I charge what the market will bear."

Rest Rooms: Bulls and Bears

"I'm not superstitious, but the internet connection broke down and the computer crashed just when I wanted to buy technology stocks..."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

"Apparently, if he sees his shadow it's another six weeks of a bear market."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

'The recession is over, again.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"To say things are bad is an UNDERSTATEMENT...We're staring into a FINANCIAL ABYSS, the COLLAPSE of the banking sector...On the other hand some experts believe that things will be back to normal in a few months ."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."