Price Flux Follower Gifts

"Let's wait and see where the gas price is going to be higher and then we'll sail there."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

Shares Nosedive

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

The Price of Nothing

Bureau of Inflation.

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

The euro as a monster

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'What a bargain!'

Short Memories

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'I can lend 100% on the new car, but only 70% on the tank of gas.'

Gas prices up.

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

"Sigh. Remember when Star Wars used to mean something?"

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."

"I don't care if you are a Leicester City fan - you can come down off that cloud right now!"

Chances of the weather.

"Yes, Madam, I know they were 78 p last week, but have you seen the price of oil?"

"Yes, sir. Your beer is cloudy. But, there's a good chance it'll become clear later."

'Honey, I swear, I wasn't out wallstreeting!'

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

"I don't have a set price. I charge what the market will bear."

Rest Rooms: Bulls and Bears

"Is this an upturn or another calm before the storm?"

Customer to broker: 'Before I invest with you, I have to check your credibility ... how many ulcers have you had?'

'Requisition a bigger chart.'

'Lady G., I think you should know ol' Warren B.'s holding period is forever.'

"Builder's tea? Due to an unforeseen rise in material costs, that'll be £22.40."