Price-conscious Planners Gifts

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Sale.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Cat Day Planner.

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"Well let`s see. It's going to be tight but I could squeeze you in for a walk at 1 pm."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"Before we cut the cake, I want to thank my bride for bringing our wedding in under budget."

"We can't go back to what we do best because that's obsolete now!"

'We can only offer you our basic dental plan: this dental floss and a pack of sugar-free gum.'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

January Sales

Avocado Prices

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Tattoos! $50 and Tattoos Removed! $10,000.

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

Pharmacy. These days a miracle drug is one that I can afford.

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'You can rest assured that our 'diet conscience' fund invests only in low-fat, low cholesterol food companies.'

"With the economy the way it is, I thought I'd start a garden. One million vegetables shoudl be enough."

"You know, I wouldn't have to pay for this if you were still my son."