Pretentiousness Connoisseur Gifts

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Totalitarian Humour

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"My bouche was not amused."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"The most important thing isn't money - it's love. Luckily I love money!"

"Frankly, I don't believe his tastevin is in the repair shop."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

Pizza and Related Searches.

"We grind our own catnip."

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

"This must be the Campaign Trail."

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

'Oh, the irony! Just guess who gave me the welfare check I bought this sign with!'

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

'I'm told they even eat our arthritic knuckles.'

Kanye West

You heard of the 'drugs tsar' and the 'fat tsar'...well this is the new 'waiting room tsar!'