Press Release Enthusiast Pillows

'Draft a press release. ... Say Mr. Buck was not 'yanked'. He, in fact, removed himself from the mound in order to spend more time with his family...'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Capital Tours

The Perfect Foil

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Reporter #6: television.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

Classic News.

'You've been killing files again.'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Big Newspaper Delivery

Charades

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"I will answer anything but questions."

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."