Press Liaison Pillows

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

Trial by Media

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

Newspaper suicide.

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Free press.

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'