Press Communications Pillows

President Grant denies Ambitions for 3rd Term- A 'Blighting Effect' on Newspaper Editors

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

HR - Helping Relationships

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Newspaper suicide.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo