Press Conference Comic Gifts

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'And in conclusion.'

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

President Grant denies Ambitions for 3rd Term- A 'Blighting Effect' on Newspaper Editors

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Dollars Press Conference

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

The facilitator from hell.

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"Please remember - if the President doesn't get mad at you, don't take it personally - Mr. Trump is very, very busy."

I'm sorry Charles is unavailable for polite comment.

'Then it's agreed - we all keep our arms raised until someone blinks.'

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

"If anyone has a question do not hesitate to open your mouth wide up."

"Road? What particular road are we talking about here? You'll have to be more specific..."

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

The main reason I came out of hiding? FOMO."

'I have time for 3 more of those politically booby-trapped minefields you call questions.'

Distracted by the Senator's mesmerizing speech, Willard inadvertently pushes the wrong button.

'And finally a man who needs no introduction... unless you want to know who he is.'

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

"...were in fact not victims but just had a really, really hard time getting out of bed this morning."

A giveaway tan line...

"For a change of pace, you shout and answer and I'll make up a question."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

Diddly

The media became obsessed with the idea of 'The Most Important Potato Chip in the Bag'.

When I went in they were discussing Tina Turner.

"I will not run for re-election so I can spend more time with my role officer."

"Trump's election victory was intended by God!"

'Hurry up, coach. Pick one.. you're late for the press conference.'

God Gives His First Press Conference

"Nigel's boss told him to get in the conference photos at all costs"