Press Conference Prankster Gifts

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Bo're'droom

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Everybody gets a raise."

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'Cancel his redundancy cheque then phone for an ambulance'

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'The boss says you can come in from the naughty step now.'

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'