Office Prankster Gifts

"First of all, forget everything you learned in obedience school."

'I should fire you! But quite frankly I can have much more fun if I keep you on and make your life a living hell.'

'Well, this certainly explains much of the company's missing data. Who else thought the 'DEL' key on their computer was for delegating work?'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

Quality Control

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"Everybody gets a raise."

Bo're'droom

'I can't talk right now. I'm discussing strategy with our financial director.'

'Is this the smoking area?'

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

'These documents are highly sensitive. Have them shredded, then burned.'

'I like to reward my employees for doing a good job. That's why I keep treats in my pockets when I walk past the cubicles.'

'Okay...who put my lunch through the mass spectrometer?'

"Sounds good. We'll just have to run it by the Hawaiian Shirts."

'You didn't attend our interpersonal skills seminar did you Perkins?'

"We'll find the money for that. My guy is on it right now."

'Office Christmas party... Happens every year.' - Santa and his photocopier party trick.

"I no longer worry about my new car getting dinged in the parking lot."

"Don't repeat this."

I'm inclined to agree with you.

Substitute Chairman

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'The boss says you can come in from the naughty step now.'

'May I make a suggestion?'

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'I.T tells me you've been playing fantasy football on your company computer. I'm afraid we have to let you go.' 'Just for that?' 'That, and stealing my best quarterback.'

Sales Course - "Remember, the secret of selling is 'sincerity' - once you can fake that you've got it made."

"So...this is how we set sales goals."

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

"Oh that, that's our dealing room."

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

'What did you take away from the meeting?'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."