Office Prankster Pillows

"First of all, forget everything you learned in obedience school."

'According to Einstein' theory, if we move the computer real fast, we can go back in time and recover the files you accidentally lost.'

'I should fire you! But quite frankly I can have much more fun if I keep you on and make your life a living hell.'

'Well, this certainly explains much of the company's missing data. Who else thought the 'DEL' key on their computer was for delegating work?'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

Quality Control

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"Well, that was fun. But we really should get back down to business."

"Everybody gets a raise."

Bo're'droom

'I can't talk right now. I'm discussing strategy with our financial director.'

'Is this the smoking area?'

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

'These documents are highly sensitive. Have them shredded, then burned.'

"Look, I need honest feedback. Try not to get caught up in whether or not I'll fire you for it later."

'Okay...who put my lunch through the mass spectrometer?'

'I like to reward my employees for doing a good job. That's why I keep treats in my pockets when I walk past the cubicles.'

'You didn't attend our interpersonal skills seminar did you Perkins?'

"Sounds good. We'll just have to run it by the Hawaiian Shirts."

While he supported Ann's right to express her opinion, Don felt she needed to hone her people skills a bit.

"We'll find the money for that. My guy is on it right now."

"I no longer worry about my new car getting dinged in the parking lot."

'Office Christmas party... Happens every year.' - Santa and his photocopier party trick.

"Don't repeat this."

I'm inclined to agree with you.

'The boss says you can come in from the naughty step now.'

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

'May I make a suggestion?'

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

Substitute Chairman

'I.T tells me you've been playing fantasy football on your company computer. I'm afraid we have to let you go.' 'Just for that?' 'That, and stealing my best quarterback.'

Bill's new strap-on steer horns helped give him more clout at the office.

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'