Workplace Prankster Gifts

'If you're going to send messages on the office intranet make sure you know who's going to get them.'

'Are you late to work, or back early from lunch?'

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

'My anti-distraction program isn't very high-tech, but it works.'

'This firm won't tolerate anyone posting negative comments on so called social networking sites.'

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

Snacks. Coffee. Early Retirement.

'It's Bring Your Mom to Work day.'

"How many more times! Don't creep up on me like that!"

"Well, so much for Jamison's celebrated air of amused detachment."

The Adventures of Morton.

'I hope you believe in life after death? Because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.'

'Any other messages, Ms. Richards?'

Harold M.: He's Sure Taking A Lot Of Chances!

"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'Never take only one day's sick leave. One day is called a hangover.'

Unauthorised Personnel

"First day back at work. Don't forget to get some office stationery."

"Drunk again."

'Don't tell me I've forgotten it's Causal Friday..?'

"Putting yes, but must you do your tee shots in the office?"

"Have you seen Joey?"

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

A goldfish in the water cooler

"You're back in the office now. Leave your voodoo dolls where they belong... at home."

"I just can't work out where the f*****g Swear Jar money went."

"When they hired me, they asked if I would mind if I got my hands dirty. I thought it would be more adventurous than changing the ink in all the printers."

'Sorry -- I checked, and there's no such thing as 'Take Your Fish to Work' Day.'

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'No.That's not what I meant by dress-down Friday, Miss Brookes...'

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'

"I think you misunderstood when I said you should lighten up and let it all hang out."