Press Buff Pillows

"I stand corrected. There ARE such things as stupid questions."

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"They grow up so fast."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

DUNVOTIN

"I told him he should have trained more."

Europe and immigration.

Local News in Heaven

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Rock and a Hard Place

Newspaper suicide.

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Presenter Auditions.

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

Bush and his exit 'strategery'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'