Newspaper Buff Pillows

"Grrr."

'Here's the answer to that trick puzzle they set last week - it's impossible.'

Standing Passengers

Paper Wasp.

"They grow up so fast."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

If nobody had invented graphics

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

DUNVOTIN

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

Europe and immigration.

Local News in Heaven

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Rock and a Hard Place

Newspaper suicide.

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

Presenter Auditions.

'It was great seeing you again Terry, we must do wildebeest sometime.'