News Buff Pillows

"Stop - that Trump cartoon you came up with this morning just happened."

'Unconfirmed reports suggest that there may have been a breakdown in communication.'

"Our top story: bloody conflict, secret meeting, auto recall, drive-by shooting, more staff cuts, medical breakthrough. We'll be back as soon as we decide."

'It says here, the world is heading for a cashless society. I always thought you and I were way ahead of our time!'

Slanted media coverage.

North American Newspaper Industry.

Journalist flooding an area

'Stocks edged higher on news that predictions of armageddon are premature...'

'It may seem dull to you now, Harry, but at one time, everything in that book was breaking news.'

Police stalk Killer / Killer accuses police of stalking.

'In economic news, stocks and interest rates declined, but the decimal point stayed steady.'

' 'I'm helping Science with Pride'... Hey, I've never said that!'

UN Rescue

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

The Optimists Channel: Today, in stocks...there's good news if you believe adversity makes you stronger.

'You've got bad news? Hey, that's good news!'

Europe and immigration.

Extinction imminent

'Ladies and gentlemen of the press...what is your verdict?'

Water-main break - "Very serious." - The Times

Taser incident.

"Funny - I still feel like we're broke!"

'Congressman, the country is going to Hades in a handbasket. What are you going to do?'

'I looted this television, can I swop it for some gift vouchers...?'

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

Local News in Heaven

'That's not the news, I left my video game on,'

RIP journalism

"Hold the front page!"

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"I'll watch history in the making later."

"In a controversial move today, the State of Rhode Island made a tender offer for the State of New Jersey."

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'