Presidents Gifts

'How can I move in closer? I'm carved in stone just like you guys!'

Thoughts about a comfort

Calendar Facts. If December twenty-first is the shortest day of the year, what's the tallest? Probably Lincoln's birthday.

George Washington

Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln

Teddy Roosevelt

Abraham Lincoln's recliner.

Hearts oh his countrymen: G. Washington...FIRST...ETC

Obama's first 100 days in office.

"Looks like we found the issue."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Golfing Boss

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Reagacentennial

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'