Prescription Prankster Pillows

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'We had a little trouble mixing your prescription. Can you stop back in 20 minutes?'

'Take 3 tablets 200 times a day.'

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

MD. Take this prescription to any grandma and get some milk and cookies.

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

'Not exactly what I expected when they announced a random drug screening.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Disorderlies

Excommunicate Me.

"I'd like a 'change of address' card."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

With the evening all to herself, Kate put on her 'UPS Drivers Gone Wild' video.

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

An artist waits to ambush an easel