Prescription Prankster Gifts

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'Take 3 tablets 200 times a day.'

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

'Not exactly what I expected when they announced a random drug screening.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Disorderlies

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Excommunicate Me.

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"I'd like a 'change of address' card."

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

An artist waits to ambush an easel

"Student unicorn"

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

'Is this where you send stuff offline?'

'Remember Spike, he gets a 1/2 hour lunch. ONe minute more and you attack!'

"Pull my finger."

Placebo Clinic: 'Mr Yomp, someone who may or may not be a doctor, will see you now...'