Pharma Prankster Gifts

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"I trust him - he has a science background."

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

Disorderlies

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

Excommunicate Me.

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Early Scientific Fraud: Young Thomas Edison Tried to Pass off a Container Filled with Fireflies as an Incandescent Bulb.

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Wishing Well

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

'The chairman finally notices me. I parked in his parking space.'

MD. Take this prescription to any grandma and get some milk and cookies.

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

"Just sniff around – see what you can find out."

Dr. Frankenstein: 'Heyyyy, What THE...?!'

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."

Practical Jokes in the Science Lab. Watch this -- That chair is made of anti-matter.

"Yeah, I've been radio-tagged by scientists, so once a week, out of spite, I do something irrational just to mess up their data..."

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

Recombinant DNA Lab.

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

'But that wasn't a beaker of acid! That was a cup of coffee from the cafeteria!'