Medical Prankster Pillows

"Try to get some rest. I'll be in every few minutes to make sure you don't."

Rectal Rooter.

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

"I've written my diagnosis on this piece of paper. I'm going to slide it over to you, and I want you to tell me if you're interested."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'Okay - now I'll test your reflexes. THINK FAST!'

Disorderlies

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"You don't think his stitches are TOO tight,do you?"

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

'Because this is a very tricky operation.'

"He's chief surgeon, and this is a tricky procedure. If he doesn't want any witnesses, he doesn't get any witnesses."

"Pull my finger."

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Virtual Doctor

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"I trust him - he has a science background."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

"Just give me the truth, Doc...I can tell when you're trying to humor me."

"Everyone loved working with Doctor Patel... Beer!"

Excommunicate Me.

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."