Prescription Plunker Pillows

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

43rd Annual Doctors Convention

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

Rip Van Winkle told by pharmacist that his sleeping pill prescription has expired.

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

"If the medication we're giving you has side effects then we have some pills that may help."

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

'Take two of these and visit my website in the morning.'

'You have a lovely neck, Miss Jones. I'm going to prescribe some anticoagulant fot it.'

The secret of marriage is chemistry - he's on valium and I'm on prozac

Man has drug cabinet labelled 'Safe Drugs' and 'Not Sure Drugs'.

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

'H-m-m-mm...may cause insomnia, joint pain, nausea, dizziness, lethargy,gas, irritability, muscle ache, bloating and may nullify the initial good feeling'

'I've prescribed Anti-Depressants - you'll still be paranoid, but you'll be happily paranoid!'