Preparing For A Big Game Gifts

'During these qualifiers there's to be no late nights and no sex...not even with your wives.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Penguin suit fitting.

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

The Airport.

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

'I'm getting ready as fast as I can, and for the last time, it's a vanity table, not a 'workstation'.'

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

Cricket

"Nothing ruins a Friday more than waking up and realizing it's only Thursday."

"This was the best school day of the week!"

"Fasten your money belt."

Coming to a crossroads in his life, Pinnochio faced a difficult decision.

"You killed it, you clean it."

'When do they swop shirts...'

"I'm training for a three day tournament."

"£200,000, that's going to but one great holiday."

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

"Honestly, I don't really start paying attention until the playoffs."

"I dreamed the Yankees lost in Game Seven."

Last chance to tell your bomb joke

"Trek, you know, means to walk to the top of Mt Everest!"

"I just get a little tense before everything."

"Pound for pound, I'm the most successful hunter I know."